I’ve been playing super small lately. Hiding out, flying under the radar, doing things the easy way, pretending I don’t care or can’t do better.
I realised that by doing this, I’d been stopping life’s flow. It felt so awkward. Two weeks ago some honest strangers (who now feel like family through the work we grew through together) gave their first impressions of me:
Woah. Although I knew inside that I was showing up like that, I was surprised, because I didn’t see that as me.
No one who had known me for years would say those things. They wouldn’t see those things!
Because I had been hiding.
Those who knew me wouldn’t necessarily see the anxiety, the self consciousness, the shrinking confidence that all perpetuated more and more of the same.
It crept in and expanded in my life, without me fully realising or feeling in control of it. Some say it’s survival – that when you are pregnant, your hormones will have you play more safe, more small, more in the comfort zone – for your protection, to protect the baby from potential danger too.
Whatever it is, it was there, living inside me, playing a major role in my thoughts and decisions, dominating my life.
Over the past few months, it had negatively impacted everything from my self confidence to my drive, my relationships, my productivity, my income.
I was called out for playing small that weekend and I knew it was time to step back out, to own my truth, to express myself fully, to connect, to share, to shine.
So I have been stepping out, through the discomfort, through the nerves and anxiousness, past the voice that tells me to stay safe, to be quiet. It’s been a powerful reconnection. It’s been fun and relieving and freeing.
If you’re shrinking, shying away, hiding in any area of your life, I see you. I feel you. I’m calling you, beckoning you:
Step back into the real you. The confident, brilliant, beautiful and powerful soul that you were born as. Reconnect to your limitless potential, to your infinite wisdom, to the endless resources and support that you have around and within you.
Step out. Own you.