Stop putting others first! You deserve what you want!


“Hi, can I get an iced coffee, double shot (but one shot decaf) on soy or almond milk, with no lid and no straw please?”

Anyone who has ever worked in a café or restaurant knows what “these people” are like, and may be rolling their eyes right now…

The attitude of many (in Australia especially) is “take it how it comes or make it yourself at home”.

I worked in hospitality for years and I get it – sometimes when you are busy and the baristas and cooks are busy, special requests can take more time.

I get it, some people can be painful to deal with (in any industry).

I also get that people are made to feel really frickin awkward for just trying to get what they’d like from staff in what is supposed to be a “service-based” industry.

What exactly is wrong with someone:

  • Knowing what they want
  • Clearly and unapologetically communicating it
  • Getting exactly what they want (especially when they are paying for it)?

Are they wankers?

Are they annoying?

Or are you just pissed because they name and claim what they actually want (and maybe you struggle to)?

In life we are often encouraged to compromise our needs and wants and desires, to put others first and to feel bad if we inconvenience others.

On coaching calls I see this so often, whether people are putting their partners, their kids, their parents, their friends, their colleagues, their clients, their staff, their pets and even total strangers before themselves.

They shrink their desires, they cap their communication, they change their plans to “go with the flow” and every time they do these things, they become less of themselves.

Step out today. Express what you want unapologetically (even if you end up with what looks like a scientific formula of shorthand on your coffee cup), get what you want, repeat that and get used to the feeling of it. You deserve what you want and it’s easy to have, you’ve just gotta start asking for it.

** PS. to anyone not in Australia or not familiar with “wanker” as a label, please know that we use “wanker” like “dickhead”… please don’t look at it’s literal translation, that may cause high levels of confusion.

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