Recently on one of our weekly Powerhouse Q & A sessions, one of my clients asked about my view on healthy boundaries within a relationship.
Having boundaries is essential for defining what’s OK and not OK in any relationship we’re in. Is it OK for someone to hug you? Maybe a friend but not a colleague? Maybe some colleagues but not a stranger? Is it OK for someone to call you names jokingly? Is it OK for a lover to kiss you? Where is OK and where is not? What if they whipped you? Are you OK if they put their hands or fingers anywhere?!
We need boundaries, not only in our relationships with other people, but in our relationships with and to
everyone and everything, including ourselves.
Without clear boundaries set, we are diminishing our own freedom, sacrificing our rights, handing over our power. We are choosing to be at the mercy of the world, giving others priority and slowly crushing our own soul.
Bit by bit. Piece by piece. Time after time.
We diminish our own self worth and build sadness, anger, resentment… And for what?!
At the end of the day, people respect people who have boundaries, even if they wholeheartedly disagree with them. People who respect their own boundaries respect themselves. It’s easier for them to choose and have what they want, and avoid or walk away from what they don’t want. True creators, masters of their own destinies, choose to have boundaries.
And yes, you can have boundaries and burst with love too.
To have boundaries does not mean that you need to be a controlling or bossy dictator. It means that you can communicate and better create your own freedom, because you have total clarity and the confidence to stand by your choices.